Dreams

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.."

-Robert Frost

So, I thought I'd follow up yesterday's post with how I got to be here. Certainly, it has been a long and winding road, but the journey is not over yet.

I once was an avid reader and aspiring writer, filled with fancies of seeing my work published in the likes of Southern Living or maybe even Vogue -dare I dream it? Unfortunately, I did; and like most dreams, it never came to fruition.

I thought I'd done all that was necessary to cement my place amongst the most beloved writers in history; one day wikipedia would report that I was the youngest novelist to publish a best seller!

I majored in English, wrote a few articles for the Crimson White, and even interned for and helped write the Natural History Museum's quarterly news bulletin. Surely this would be enough to land me a job at Southern Progress with one of there many magazines. If not, then at least having been a nanny for one of its chief editors would be.

Alas, it was not!And this was not as shocking as I might have expected, more of a major reality check...Cinderella was wrong, dreams really don't come true! Somebody might wanna send her a memo.

After an internship with The Birmingham Museum of Art, I decided teaching offered the best career solution at the time. After all, $10 an hour and no benefits wasn't getting me very far now that I was a grown up and responsible for my rent, car payments, insurance, etc.

If I couldn't be a writer, maybe I could teach others how to be...or how not to be.

Anyway, now here I am.

I have very little time to read (unless it's part of the eighth grade course of study or one of Jackson's Elmo or Dr. Seuss books), much less do I find time to write. What's worse, I have become complacent.


I have submitted to the notion that dreams are for suckers, and drawing a pay check is the bottom line, even if it means sacrificing happiness.

I took the road that was well worn, the easy and safe route. 10 years later, I'm looking for a cut thru to the road less traveled by.

So, enough with all the pessimism; even poor old Eeyore would tell me to quit complaining!

I'm lucky I have a job to complain about anyway! Besides, if I want to chase my dreams, I better lace up my tennis shoes. I mean, my dreams didn't give up on me; I was the one who bailed!

It's time to stop sitting back and letting fate just happen; it's time to go out and grab her by the horns and take ownership of my destiny!

As far as teaching goes, I might not reach them all, but as long as I reach just one, then I have accomplished something.

And as for those pipe dreams, I think I'll start referring to them as goals; "goals" sounds less fanciful and more attainable! Time to start seeing the glass as half full, right?

Hey, maybe I'll even give Cinderella a call and see if she has any advice!

In the mean time, I'll be working on that cut thru!

Happy Monday

"THE BEST career advice given to the young is:

Find out what you like doing best

and get someone to pay you for doing it."

-Katherine Whitehorn

This quote has really gotten to me today. Am I too old? Is it too late? Why didn't somebody give me this advice 10 years ago? Or did they, but I didn't listen?

It was definitely a Monday today, and I had many moments where I found myself reevaluating my career and asking myself, "how did I get here?"

I mean, I am not doing anything with my life, as far as work goes, that I thought I'd be doing. Hello! I was supposed to be a famous writer by now, or a world traveler on the way to a new exotic destination, or an up-and-coming political hot shot on the way to becoming the first lady president.

Instead, I'm an eighth grade English teacher who spends more time having to discipline than actually teaching, and forget about the whole making a difference in the lives of today's youth...I am almost certain that ain't happening in my classroom.

How did this happen? What went wrong? More importantly, can it be fixed? Is there a rewind button on careers? Is it too late? Someone please convince me that it's not or at least give me some words of encouragement. After only 8 years in the classroom (not to mention 8 years of college education and lots of student loans later), I am already burned out, uninspired, and longing to do what really makes me happy...this...writing.

So, I guess I'm being pretty pessimistic today. Like I said, it's been a Monday, and it doesn't help that I started the week off exhausted. Weekends aren't restful when you have a one and two year old. Although, I am very grateful to have them in my life to keep me so exhausted!

In fact, they are the best thing about coming home from work everyday!

That being said, this blog was started to remind me of how beautiful life is, and my three men are definitely the most beautiful part of my day.

I just wish I could add my job to the list of beautiful reminders. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for my job. I would be insane not to be, especially with the economy on the fritz and the rising unemployment rates.

I just wish I could say I'm doing what I love for a living. I wish I had a job that allowed me to "live" while making a living. I wish I could stop being so negative!

But it's like my dad always says,"Wish in one hand and take a crap in the other; see which one gets filled first!"

Happy Monday, and may tomorrow be a Terrific Tuesday!