Sunday, December 12, 2010

Happy Holidays

It always happens this time of year; I begin to feel like Charlie Brown..

"I just don't understand Christmas," Charlie Brown said.

"I might be getting presents, sending Christmas cards, and decorating trees, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed."

- Charlie Brown; A Charlie Brown Christmas

With all the rushing around, holiday get togethers, shopping, and decorating; it's easy to forget the true meaning of Christmas - the real reason for the season!

This year I vowed to have a stressless rather than stressful holiday season, and so far I believe we've been rather successful. I am learning to say no, be true to myself, and do what's best for my family. Not to mention, I am trying ever so hard to keep the true meaning of Christmas in my heart and trying ever so dearly not to let my inner "Grinch" ruin the holidays!

Most importantly, at the very tip top of my Christmas wish list is my desire to spend as much time with my three men as possible. With all the commercial "hoohah" and stressers this time of year, it's easy to get bogged down, wrapped up, and too busy!

I intend to spend my holidays playing, cuddling, and giggling with all three of my favorite men, and I am going to enjoy every second of it! More than that, I will be giving thanks to our Lord for making those beautiful moments possible!

I wish you all a very merry Christmas, and I hope you all make beautiful memories this holiday season!

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you, this day, is born in the city of Bethlehem a savior,
which is Christ the Lord.

That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown."

- Linus; A Charlie Brown Christmas

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Fall 2010

I have learned that making a "living" is not the same as making a "life."

-Maya Angelou

And oh what a life we have been making this fall...quite a busy one actually, but I wouldn't trade a crazy second of it! We've been to Tuscaloosa several weekends for football games, Baton Rouge for a diappointing loss (although victorious for my dad), and to Florence for a wedding and an early Thanksgiving! Then, we wrapped up the fall season with a super stellar trip to my favorite travel destination, NOLA! It's been fast and furious, but beautiful and memorable none the less!

Sunday, October 10, 2010


"The happiest moments of my life

have been the few which I have passed at home

in the bosom of my family."

- Thomas Jefferson

Ok, so I know I said I am going to try to live in the present, and I am! In fact, I have been...for almost a whole two weeks now! Go me!

However, I still find myself thinking about the future. Not obsessing like before, but just thinking ahead. That's okay, right?

You see, I got to thinking about the future because we traveled to NOLA for my niece's bday this weekend, and I really enjoyed visiting with the fam!

It got me thinking about how little we get to visit with them and how many beautiful moments we don't get to share with them because we're so far apart. I really don't want my boys' futures to be filled (rather unfilled) with so few memories of their NOLA family! It really would be wonderful if we lived closer and we could spend more time with the Rowan clan!

After all, family really is the tie that binds; without a healthy helping of it ever so often, I feel lost and disconnected!

Even though others might say we're loud, crazy, and dysfunctional - they're MY loud, crazy, and dysfunctional family and I wouldn't want it any other way! Besides, "family is like fudge, sweet but with a few nuts" (me being one of the nuts)! By the way, thanks for loving and accepting me for who I am. I love you all so much!

So, here's to my family!

Thanks for a wonderful weekend and the beautiful memories;

hopefully, the future holds many more, more often!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Learning to Be

"If you want to be happy, be."

-Leo Tolstoy

"Somtimes, the hardest lesson in life is learning how to just be."

I have come to realize that I have difficulty living in the moment.

I am always thinking about tomorrow.

I think it's part of my annoying "OCD" tendencies.

I am always planning, plotting, and pondering;

therfore, I am never satisfied with the present

because I am always obsessing over the future.

I have not learned how to live in the present and just "be."

However, I know that inorder to feel truly satisfied with life,

I have to learn to enjoy it. I have to learn to just "be!"

This weekend was the first time in a long time

that I allowed myself to just "be."

I threw all caution to the wind and just went with the flow.

We had plans to travel to Tuscaloosa

and take the boys to the Alabama game,

but Jeremy and I were so bushed from the hectic week we'd had;

a road trip just didn't sound exciting!

However, I am a stickler for plans and I get all out of wack

if things don't go according to schedule.

So, I was really stressed about changing our plans at the last minute.

I am so glad we did though!

We ended up having a wonderful weekend, and it was nice to just be!

I ventured off track, and it was all good!
I soaked up the gorgeous weather, visited with friends,
and spent quality time with my three men!

I just let myself be, and I found that I was truly happy.

I think I like living in the present;

not worrying about tomorrow is actually a much better way to be!

All this fuss over my job, where we should live,

and what's coming next only causes undue stress,

and I end up missing all the beautiful moments in life

because I am too worried about when I'm going to start living

instead of just living!

So, Carpe Diem!

May it be a beautiful day,

and may true happiness come your way!

"Love your life. Accept it, just as it is. Today. Now.

So that those moments of happiness you're waiting for don't pass you by."

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.."

-Robert Frost

So, I thought I'd follow up yesterday's post with how I got to be here. Certainly, it has been a long and winding road, but the journey is not over yet.

I once was an avid reader and aspiring writer, filled with fancies of seeing my work published in the likes of Southern Living or maybe even Vogue -dare I dream it? Unfortunately, I did; and like most dreams, it never came to fruition.

I thought I'd done all that was necessary to cement my place amongst the most beloved writers in history; one day wikipedia would report that I was the youngest novelist to publish a best seller!

I majored in English, wrote a few articles for the Crimson White, and even interned for and helped write the Natural History Museum's quarterly news bulletin. Surely this would be enough to land me a job at Southern Progress with one of there many magazines. If not, then at least having been a nanny for one of its chief editors would be.

Alas, it was not!And this was not as shocking as I might have expected, more of a major reality check...Cinderella was wrong, dreams really don't come true! Somebody might wanna send her a memo.

After an internship with The Birmingham Museum of Art, I decided teaching offered the best career solution at the time. After all, $10 an hour and no benefits wasn't getting me very far now that I was a grown up and responsible for my rent, car payments, insurance, etc.

If I couldn't be a writer, maybe I could teach others how to be...or how not to be.

Anyway, now here I am.

I have very little time to read (unless it's part of the eighth grade course of study or one of Jackson's Elmo or Dr. Seuss books), much less do I find time to write. What's worse, I have become complacent.

I have submitted to the notion that dreams are for suckers, and drawing a pay check is the bottom line, even if it means sacrificing happiness.

I took the road that was well worn, the easy and safe route. 10 years later, I'm looking for a cut thru to the road less traveled by.

So, enough with all the pessimism; even poor old Eeyore would tell me to quit complaining!

I'm lucky I have a job to complain about anyway! Besides, if I want to chase my dreams, I better lace up my tennis shoes. I mean, my dreams didn't give up on me; I was the one who bailed!

It's time to stop sitting back and letting fate just happen; it's time to go out and grab her by the horns and take ownership of my destiny!

As far as teaching goes, I might not reach them all, but as long as I reach just one, then I have accomplished something.

And as for those pipe dreams, I think I'll start referring to them as goals; "goals" sounds less fanciful and more attainable! Time to start seeing the glass as half full, right?

Hey, maybe I'll even give Cinderella a call and see if she has any advice!

In the mean time, I'll be working on that cut thru!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Happy Monday

"THE BEST career advice given to the young is:
Find out what you like doing best
and get someone to pay you for doing it."

-Katherine Whitehorn

This quote has really gotten to me today. Am I too old? Is it too late? Why didn't somebody give me this advice 10 years ago? Or did they, but I didn't listen?
It was definitely a Monday today, and I had many moments where I found myself reevaluating my career and asking myself, "how did I get here?"

I mean, I am not doing anything with my life, as far as work goes, that I thought I'd be doing. Hello! I was supposed to be a famous writer by now, or a world traveler on the way to a new exotic destination, or an up-and-coming political hot shot on the way to becoming the first lady president.

Instead, I'm an eighth grade English teacher who spends more time having to discipline than actually teaching, and forget about the whole making a difference in the lives of today's youth...I am almost certain that ain't happening in my classroom.

How did this happen? What went wrong? More importantly, can it be fixed? Is there a rewind button on careers? Is it too late? Someone please convince me that it's not or at least give me some words of encouragement. After only 8 years in the classroom (not to mention 8 years of college education and lots of student loans later), I am already burned out, uninspired, and longing to do what really makes me happy...this...writing.

So, I guess I'm being pretty pessimistic today. Like I said, it's been a Monday, and it doesn't help that I started the week off exhausted. Weekends aren't restful when you have a one and two year old. Although, I am very grateful to have them in my life to keep me so exhausted!

In fact, they are the best thing about coming home from work everyday!

That being said, this blog was started to remind me of how beautiful life is, and my three men are definitely the most beautiful part of my day.
I just wish I could add my job to the list of beautiful reminders. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for my job. I would be insane not to be, especially with the economy on the fritz and the rising unemployment rates.

I just wish I could say I'm doing what I love for a living. I wish I had a job that allowed me to "live" while making a living. I wish I could stop being so negative!

But it's like my dad always says,"Wish in one hand and take a crap in the other; see which one gets filled first!"

Happy Monday, and may tomorrow be a Terrific Tuesday!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Love Letter to My Husband

So this is for my husband because I'm missing him like crazy right now.

He's in Georgia hiking and he hasn't even been gone that long. Infact, he just left this morning, but it feels lonely since he didn't come home from work like usual. I didn't get to see Jackson's face light up or hear him squeal "daddy!" because he heard the dogs barking to signify Jeremy was home. It makes my heart sad not to have this beautiful moment today. It reminds me that some of the most ordinary moments in life are also the most precious - watching my sons get so excited to see their daddy come home from work everyday is both priceless and beautiful.Those moments makes us all happy!

I also miss spending the evening with him, sharing our usual Friday night dinner and a movie (at home of course - having an inant and a toddler does not afford us real dates very often these days, but we enjoy it none the less).

I miss him so much! I wish I could curl up next to him right now, which makes me realize I should curl up with him, cuddle with him, and love him more often! Wishing for it when I can't have it is pointless, and even more pointless is not taking advatage of it when I actually can! I need to soak up as much of him as I can and when I can. I need to love him more, cuddle with him more, and kiss him more!

I love you Jeremy! Hurry home; I miss you!